“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other….” [Colossians 3:12–13]
JEANNIE AND HER HUSBAND were five or six years into marriage, and whatever feelings had once been there were long gone. Hate was not too strong a word to describe what raced through her heart whenever she was particularly angry with him. In a desperate attempt to salvage what little was left of their relationship, they planned a Valentine’s getaway and hoped something might spark. It didn’t.
Yet while forcing their way through a strained, disappointing weekend, with no storybook romance to come to their rescue, they did exercise the self-control and presence of mind to make one new promise together: they would stop speaking harshly to each other. It just wasn’t worth the effort and emotion anymore. Nor would they confide and complain to friends, “Do you know what he did? Do you know what she said?” Surely they could do that much.
Sometimes the big things really do come down to size when we start doing the little things—like not talking cruelly to each other, not unleashing our little put-downs, not giving unkind reports behind their back. At least that’s what happened in Jeannie’s situation. Six months down the line, they looked up from their once decaying marriage and found that God had indeed resurrected what was dead and dying. Twenty years later, their lives have become a picture of committed, joyful love.
No, not every bad situation is sure to get better like this. But it will never happen unless someone is willing to surrender their rights even in simple, basic ways. Simple, daily acts of humility and kindness, energized by the Spirit and love of Christ, may be just what it takes to get (and keep) God’s grace and power flowing through your most difficult relationship.
In whatever relationship this most applies to you, what are one or two small, sacrificial steps you could take for the sake of peace and restoration? [The Quiet Place]
