Preschoolers
■ have a growing sense that God is very special and real.
■ tend to have a literal concept of God, perhaps as a grandfather figure. readily accept what you say about God.
■ sense that God loves them and cares for them and that they can love and trust him.
■ enjoy frequent repetition of Bible stories.
■ can recite simple prayers, and may add their own ideas.
■ generally do the “right thing” out of fear of punishment or to win approval.
■ sense that church is a good place to be.
5- and 6-year-olds . . .
■ have a very real spiritual nature, a strong sense of who God is, and often relate to Jesus as their friend.
■ are aware of right and wrong, and begin to experience guilt and understand forgiveness.
■ understand God’s love and our response within the context of everyday experiences. By and large they are still concrete thinkers.
■ can be delighted and awed by Bible stories and often use their imagination to ask questions.
■ can express their love for Jesus in words and actions.
7- and 8-year-olds . . .
■ are capable of understanding basic salvation concepts and of making a commitment to Jesus, but may do so simply out of a desire to please adults.
■ often express opinions and feelings about God and church and ask many “why” and “how” questions.
■ often include prayer in their daily routines. Their prayers are frequently self-centered but are sincere and offered in faith.
■ often still see issues in black and white.
9- and 10-year-olds . . .
■ are developing a conscience: a personal sense of right and wrong that often expresses itself in judgments of what’s unfair or unjust.
■ may be able to deal with moral questions in terms of motives and consequences, love, loyalty, promises, and so on.
■ may show an increasing concern for people who are hungry, homeless, or poor.
■ are open to learning about other cultures and accepting differences in others.
■ understand why we pray and are often able to make up spontaneous prayers.
■ are more inclined to look inward than younger children are, and may ask questions and wonder about making a commitment to Christ.
Spiritual Characteristics of teens
Anyone who parents teens or works with them knows that they are a diverse group whose spiritual growth varies widely. While this list of spiritual characteristics isn’t definitive, it is representative of common patterns that we see between the ages of 13 and 18.
Three big questions teens of all ages ask are
■ Who am I? (this is an Identity question)
■ Where do I fit? (this is a Belonging question)
■ What difference do I make? (this is a Purpose question)
Preteens and young teens . . .
■ resonate with the truth that God knows and cares for them personally as individuals.
■ are able to commit themselves to Christ and to a life of Christian gratitude and service. Public profession of faith is a very real possibility at this age.
■ are idealists, quick to point out faults and failures at home and in the world, quick to spot injustices, and eager to become involved in worthy causes. They can be blind to how this idealism applies to their own behavior.
■ are beginning to see things from others’ perspectives, and so become very interested in what others think of them. This interest may manifest itself as self-absorption.
■ experience community both in person and online. They may feel closer to the people they interact with online than the people they see every day. They may also be one kind of person in real life and a completely different person online.
■ are developing their own beliefs and values in the context of peers, school, media, and church, but are very concerned about conforming to the group or culture.
■ need to know they’re important to God and to the church right now, not just when they get older. It’s important to provide opportunities for them to serve and use their gifts in your congregation.
■ often admire and imitate adult faith models as a way of establishing their own identity.
■ may be struggling with doubts and questions about their faith, feelings that often intensify in older adolescence. Their faith still likely reflects the faith of their parents, but they have begun to make it more personal and individual.
Older teens . . .
■ are often intensely independent and may resist parents’ attempts to inquire about or guide their spiritual life. But, paradoxically, their parents remain the major influencers of their faith formation.
■ are developing a greater understanding of the mystery of faith, the deeper layers of meaning in the Bible, and theological discussions about faith.
■ are beginning to question existing leadership structures and may have a low tolerance for anything they perceive to be “fake” or inauthentic. Be yourself when interacting with them, and seek their input when planning ministry with and to their age group.
■ are beginning to distinguish between organized religion and personal spirituality as their worldview broadens. Some may describe themselves as “spiritual but not religious,” but this does not necessarily mean they have rejected their faith or the church at large.
■ need to sense that they belong and are accepted as they are. They can be deeply alienated from the church if they perceive the church is rejecting them or people close to them on the basis of their lifestyle or beliefs.
■ often wrestle with intense feelings of shame from a variety of sources: unmet expectations imposed by adults; addictions to pornography, drugs, or alcohol; sexual thoughts and behaviors. These young people are looking for Christian adults to give them hope and help and to share healthy coping mechanisms.
■ develop greater compassion and empathy as they learn about the world around them. In response, they tend to want to express their faith through action. Providing meaningful opportunities for service is critical. Faith-forming experiences like SERVE (YouthUnlimited. org/serve) are deeply effective for this group.
